You know, I'm really starting to understand why people say that 'life is hard'
because mine is right now. It hurts deep down in my chest when i think about it.
I really need things to go right in my life, but I don't really have control over that.
I feel like I'm stuck in a giant pit and I can find the latter to get out.
Or what my latter is.
Why is this so hard to do..
There's so many questions to life.
I kind of feel like I'm being punished for something, like i did something wrong somewhere.
I'm not perfect, god knows that.
He also knows what I can do to fix it..
wanna give me a hint?
You know, I'm not a bad person. But when im about to go to bed, i think
i should pray and ask for help..
and then i think to myself "your not good enough to be listened to, why even bother?"
good things happen to other people, like jaymee sirrine, and all my sisters and sils.they've got it all figured out, and make it looks so easy.
I just want my own place with a good job, so I can start MY family.
so many people take this for-granted
I see it all the time and think, I wish i was in your position,
so i can start my flippin life
I feel stupid... why can they do it and i can't??
I can't help but feel like I'm slower in the head or something.
does he (god) really listen to people like me..?
does he enjoy watching me struggle?
I can't do this by myself.I need help.
do you guys get in situations where you dont know what to do? what do you do about that?
because mine is right now. It hurts deep down in my chest when i think about it.
I really need things to go right in my life, but I don't really have control over that.
I feel like I'm stuck in a giant pit and I can find the latter to get out.
Or what my latter is.
Why is this so hard to do..
There's so many questions to life.
I kind of feel like I'm being punished for something, like i did something wrong somewhere.
I'm not perfect, god knows that.
He also knows what I can do to fix it..
wanna give me a hint?
You know, I'm not a bad person. But when im about to go to bed, i think
i should pray and ask for help..
and then i think to myself "your not good enough to be listened to, why even bother?"
good things happen to other people, like jaymee sirrine, and all my sisters and sils.they've got it all figured out, and make it looks so easy.
I just want my own place with a good job, so I can start MY family.
so many people take this for-granted
I see it all the time and think, I wish i was in your position,
so i can start my flippin life
I feel stupid... why can they do it and i can't??
I can't help but feel like I'm slower in the head or something.
does he (god) really listen to people like me..?
does he enjoy watching me struggle?
I can't do this by myself.I need help.
do you guys get in situations where you dont know what to do? what do you do about that?
6 comments:
First, you have to take control of the things you can. Yeah, it sucks living with family, but that just gives you an opportunity to work like crazy and save up so it never has to happen again. And second, you have to know that you're worth everything good in the world. You're a daughter of God - literally- and you're good at being you. Comparing yourself to anyone else just brings misery and everyone is struggling in their own way. Count your blessings and keep your chin up. Things can get worse but they can also get better and it's all in the attitude. :)
EVERYONE has their struggles. we are all just very good at hiding it. If I never read your posts I would have thought every thing was dandy! Is Ethan reading your posts? I hope he knows and feels the same way you do. If you BOTH (ethan especially) get a job you can be outta that small room in no time. Ethan needs to start learning the meaning of sacrafice for family, YOUR new little family. I'm not trying to bag on Ethan but if he truly wants you happy (which of course means he will be happy too) he needs to pitch in and really start job hunting with you. And couple prayer really helps. Dont get too down, things will get better soon!
Seriously Lauren, student loans. That's the only thing separating us from you guys. If we weren't taking out $10000s/year we would be living with mom and dad too. But when we were first married I just worked full time to pay for our $500/month rent on our 400 square foot apartment. And it was hard to find a job. I did lots of interviews for jobs I didn't get before I finally got one. Looking for jobs is just about the worst thing ever!!!!! Especially right now. And ditto to everything Tara said. Ethan needs to man up, turn off the computer and get a job AND go to school. Yes, it's hard, but so is life.
But also remember it feels like your stuck forever right now, but these years will go fast and soon you'll look back on your time as a poor newlywed.
I feel like that a lot but I know the God loves and care about me. If I just pray and tell him everything about my life, it makes it seem so much better and then somehow I get answers to my questions. Usually through feelings and many many prayers for patience. I know that your situation sucks right now but God will never abandon you to your own devices. You are His daughter. and as such, He loves you and wants only the best for you. You just have to be willing to get down on your knees and ask him about it. Srsly, when you get those thoughts in bed to ask Him something, don't doubt. Just do. My friend's missionary calls it "The Cliff Jump Theory". If you think too much about it, you'll never do it, so just jump and believe things will work out and they will. I promise. I hope that helps and doesn't just sound like a lecture.... ;)
LAUREN!!! I love you!!! We all have our struggles and trust me, it isn't easy. i have traveled the stressful and dissapointing road myself. what the heck am i saying? I STILL AM!! its crazy... you think everyhting is going good and then everything starts to suck all at once. i dont get it either. but i always pray and it always helps me feel better. the first year of being married i guess really is the hardest. because of stuff like this... we went through it and things are starting to look up now. i know you will get a job. just keep looking. it takes a while but it will happen. call me. ill call you. we def. need to chat. love you!
Lauren, like The others have said we all have had our hard times. But one thing I want to say is it is Satan not our Heavenly Father that wants you to feel you are not good enought to be listened to. Satan is the one who loves it when we don't turn to a Heavenly Father who does love you! He does love you and does want you to turn to him. Be grateful, even when you don't know if there is anything to be grateful for! (Such as your next blog you have a handsome husband LOL) Another thing is it is easy to compare your "worst" to other's "best". Our trials don't show as much as the good things. I miss all you guys I am so glad I got to be at your wedding and I love you Good luck on the job hunting for you and Ethan!
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